Have you ever been around people who say the most inappropriate things at the most inopportune time?
At best, their words make for awkward but funny situations, and at worst, they nearly kill those they are with with shame. We often refer to these people as having no filter between the brain and the mouth.
There are them, and then there is … me.
I stand near the very tip of the spectrum… on the opposite side. I have a dozen of them :
- Is it helpful?
- Is it hurtful?
- Is it true?
- Is it edifying?
- Is it comforting?
- Is it encouraging?
- Is it interesting?
- Is it good?
- Is it selfish?
- Is it useful?
- Is it healing?
- Does it matter?
These many filters end up having me keep my mouth shut when most people retort.
It also prevents me from speaking of the things I really want to speak of. What matters is usually not comforting, and what is edifying might be hurtful. In a nutshell, it can get pretty complicated.
Everybody, at some point, needs to have a voice. Being heard validates one’s existence. We all have something to contribute to the world, a place that is uniquely ours to fill up to make a tremendous difference in people’s life. A difference for good.
If I were to listen the whispers of my soul, I would talk about love. No! Not the cheap and twisted version of it we get in movies and soap operas. No… real love… redeeming love… sacrificial love. I would talk about communion, connectedness. I would talk about things I barely have the words to talk about because they are too wonderful and grandiose to talk about. I would talk about a love so deep and so high and so broad it doesn’t fit the language we have.
This one goes through all the filters I have, but it will likely not be received as it should… because you have filters too.