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School is Out


There is nothing new about school being out at the end of June, but this year, this is a special one.

My baby just finished school as she has known it all her life.

In less than two months, she will be moving to adult learning.

The learning process is different from regular school and it requires a lot more discipline; but she is up to taking on the challenge. She has untapped potential, so let’s try and develop it, for as long as it is possible and despite her learning disorders.

I am far from being an empty-nester, but my children are not little anymore. This is not the first post about this. I am unsure about the ways I should tackle it. Back off but stay close, just leave them to fend for themselves, or wait for them to ask for help?

If my role as a mother needs to shrink, how do I fill in the empty space?

I have projects I can work on, but life is not only about working and fulfilling projects. What about relationships?

Of course, I am not cutting my children out my life, but there is also a muffled but visceral sense of panic at the thought of letting go. What do you do when you are not needed anymore? Being needed has become a way of life. Do I have to learn to be selfish?

As weird as it might sound, my relationships with my children is partly how I define myself. They grow in autonomy, they make more decisions on their own, they choose for themselves, they have projects for the future, I must have done something right along the way, I am not a total failure as a mother.

What are my measures of success in other aspects of my life? I have no clue. I earn a living, I have diplomas, I own a vehicle… Is there not more to life?

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