How often do you forgive a friend?
As many times as it takes.
Now wait a minute! My friend hurt me in the worst possible way… and you expect me to forgive? Are you out of your mind?
I am not out of my mind and yes, forgiveness is the only answer.
What is friendship to you? The fun you have with your party partners or the acceptance of the people you turn to when you go through difficult times?
Party partners are not friends, the people who were there for you when you needed someone are. Is it sensible to reciprocate support when they need it? Of course it is! Friends support one another, it goes with the territory. Right?
I still can’t see why I would forgive a friend who hurt me. This person was not my friend to begin with!
Maybe… but you were. Was your friendship conditional? Are you only a fair-weather friend? If you think of yourself a better friend than that, then you have to. If your friend betrayed you, it only means this person doesn’t know what friendship is, which means there were likely no real example of it to observe and mimick or this person has been betrayed by a friend in the past.
Do you love your friend enough either to give your friend the proof you are his or her friend or to take the betrayal for what it really is, an unconscious call for help in healing?
The betrayal, in the end, has nothing to do with you, it has everything to do with your friend. I concede without arguing about it, it hurts… big time!
The question is, do you love your friend enough to provide a place to express his or her pain and to work out the issue?
Your ‘friend’ might not use the opportunity he or she is given and it is a pity, but if you forgive, you can claim having been a good friend and releasing the anger will only be beneficial to your peace of mind and your health.
With this said, don’t keep yourself in harm’s way… this isn’t a masochism contest. Be willing, however, to be a friend if that ‘friend’ approaches you and apologizes.
A friend loves always and love forgives.