In my neck of the woods, a forecast of 19 C and 20 C for a 21st ad 22nd of October is highly exceptional. Usually, by this time, the mercury hovers in the positive one digit temperature, the car heater is on in the morning and a light scarf is sometimes necessary. I went out last night and did not have a coat on, I went out today and wore sandals.
I am not a confrontational person. I have enough of dealing with my own life without taking on other people’s issues as well. ‘Live and let live’ is something I keep in mind. And this weekend, I confronted someone about some a repetitive behaviour (or lack thereof). I am trying to drive home the point that life is not just a matter of action, but also of reaction. I realised old feelings of anger rose from the depth of a pit full of unaddressed relational issues and I am not sure whether to let them loose or to process them one by one in private.
I have always treated words with deference… let me explain. I think before voicing an opinion, I don’t speak for the sake of hearing my voice… I speak to help, I speak to edify, I speak when it matters. And right now, I feel like blurting out every single odd and judgemental thought that crosses my mind, I feel like wallowing in self-pity, and I feel like having a fit because life is unfair at times, because I see the world is going backwards instead of forward, because I see nothing moving, because I am too eager to see the figurative sun shine after clouds, mist or heavy rain, a sun that has been hiding it for too long.